I’m a Liar

Hi everyone.  My name is Amy.

I’m a liar.  

I have told my closest friends for years that I look forward to my kids growing up and moving out because I can’t wait to see what kind of people they will grow up to be.  It’s amazing to listen to them share their opinions about politics, education, work, friends, family, and all that involves becoming a responsible adult.  

I’m a liar. 

Watching our kids grow up has been really amazing!  We moved our son, Chance, to Orlando when he was 18.  It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  I wanted to move in to his one bedroom apartment with him and make sure he was ok.  Sadly, he wanted nothing to do with me being there.  He was completely ready to start being on his own.  Well, at least physically on his own but not financially…  but that’s a story for another blog, right??

This fall our daughter, Sydney, will be going off to college.  I keep saying that like she is going to be a couple hours away.  For about a year now she has been saying she wants to study abroad.  Yup.  You read that correctly – STUDY ABROAD.  She wants to explore the world and learn what it’s like to live in other countries, which I interpret as she wants to move as far away as possible from us.  

If I have told you I am ready for this, or can’t wait to see what happens – I’m a liar.  Well, sort of.  I really DO want my kids to grow up, move out and become happy, successful adults.  Really I do!!  However, I’m fooling myself when I say I’m excited about it.  The first year on their own away from us is scary as shit and I worried non-stop the first year Chance was gone and he was only 6 hours away.  I don’t even want to imagine what it’s going to be like when Sydney is in another county!

The older our kids get, the more I realize how my parents felt when I went away to college and didn’t call them for days.  Keep in mind, when I went to college there was no internet, social media, email, etc…  All communication was done via snail mail, or land line phones and answering machines – you know – back in the 1900’s…  

So I might not be Pinocchi0 lying when I tell you that I want our kids to grow up, move out and become adults but I am lying.  I’m lying mostly to myself in order to cope with how quiet our house will be without them here.  When Chance moved out it became quieter however when Sydney moves out it the quiet will be deafening.  

 So when you ask me how our kids are and what their plans are for the future then I proceed to tell you all about each kids’ plans, and how excited I am to see where they end up and that I can’t wait to visit them where ever they land – you’ll know I’m a liar.  Deep down I’m just as worried and nervous as they are.