The term healthcare is very deceptive, because it’s really not about health, it’s about people. When thinking about those people, you need to not only think about those who are coming into the hospital or other outpatient facility for care, but also, those who are giving care.
I went into nursing for one reason alone, to help people. I didn’t go into it for the drama, or the “MRS” degree, or because I thought shows like “Nip/Tuck” “ER” and “Gray’s Anatomy” were realistic. I didn’t go into it for the money, or the schedule, I went into it to help people. People who no matter their age, race, religion, gender, political party, and partner preference are at their most vulnerable. In my naïveté, I vowed to always put the patient first. I skipped lunch, I skipped breaks, I picked up hundreds of extra shifts so my coworkers didn’t have to work short (remember, they are people too). I picked up “contracts” for bonuses, and I exhausted myself.
My first preceptor, who was a retired Navy nurse with almost 40 years experience pulled me aside one day, and said, “Hey, be careful, or you‘ll get burnt out.” I shook my head, and smiled, and in my head said, “Yeah, that’s never going to happen, I love my job.”
A year into it, working on a Medical/Surgical floor at a whopping 23 years old, one of my favorite ICU nurses who was rounding for a rapid response team came to say goodbye. She was an excellent nurse, and she taught me something new every time I saw her. I assumed she was leaving to go back to school, or heading to a different facility. She laughed and said, “Actually, I am heading back to school, but not for what you think. I’m taking courses to become a dog groomer; I’m getting out of nursing.” She was 33, and had been in the ICU since she graduated college. At the time I was shocked, I couldn’t believe she would throw all that time and energy she put into getting a nursing license away. Over a decade and a half later, I totally get it.
I’ve been used and abused by both patients and management. I’ve been hit across the face with IV poles, threatened, hit on, and verbally abused. I’ve been hit with vomit, feces, amniotic fluid, and sputum (sometimes all in the same day). I’ve been made to feel less than by those who have spent the majority of their career away from the bedside, and have forgotten what the TRUE meaning of teamwork is. I’ve been told to smile, be positive, and that at the end of the day, it’s not about staff, it’s about patients. Although, that is true, it’s about people. It’s about trusting the people who are caring for your loved ones. It’s about coming together and working as a team to care for not only patients, but each other, and it’s about bucking the system and speaking up when things aren’t ok, and when changes aren’t made for patient AND staff safety, well it’s time to step away.
I am committed to the care and improvement of human life, most importantly, my own. It took a long while to get there, but I’m finally putting myself, and my family first. Although I’m very sad to be leaving the people I have worked with for over a decade, it’s time. I wish each and every one of them the best, and hope that by going to a new facility with a different “healthcare culture” I will find my love of nursing again.
Did you know that over 30% of nurses have left the bedside since 2020, along with 1 in 5 of other healthcare professions? Check on your friends in healthcare , they may say they are, but they are NOT ok.
