Recently, I’ve noticed my left eye starting to twitch. A lot. I’ve been more irritable than usual, and my morning emotional support beverage hasn’t seemed to make one bit of difference. Neither has increasing my workout time or my (feeble) attempts at meditation. Going to work hasn’t helped either. What once was a welcome distraction from the day to day routine that allowed me to feel like I was more than just a Mom has now become downright miserable. With people leaving healthcare in droves, or traveling to greener pastures, let’s just say the current climate isn’t great. Add in a teething toddler, and a salty 5 year old, and long story short, my body is telling me I’m stressed in one of the most annoying ways possible. Cue a discussion on why self care matters for moms.
First off what is it? According to the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of self care is, “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” Self-care is different for everyone, and can include eating a healthy meal, exercise, expressing feelings through art or conversation, cathartic crying, spending time with friends and family, reading, and relaxation.
Self care is not: a five minute shower alone, going to the grocery store sans kids (though Target might count), going to work, or going alone to your yearly gynecologist exam.
Figure out what works for you. For me it was a quick trip away with just my husband, and a full nights sleep (who knew?). I came back rejuvenated, and my eye stopped twitching. But, this is not always feasible, so here are a few things that have worked for me in the past when I’ve felt overwhelmed.
Give yourself a time out.
Send the kids to school, with family, or to the sitter, head to the beach and sit. Do nothing. Listen to the waves. Even if it’s only for 30 min, it may be what you need. For me, even driving by the water helps, and on rough mornings, I sometimes grab coffee and drive with my littlest in the backseat. Sometimes we stop and watch the waves, sometimes we just drive by, but it always helps.
Exercise.
Get those endorphins going. Even if it’s just a quick walk around the neighborhood with your headphones in listening to a steamy audiobook or *gasp* explicit non kid approved music. Sometimes you just need to rock out.
Take a bath.
Or a long shower. Leave your phone and other electronic devices in the other room. Even if it’s just for 10 min, it may be all the break you need.
Take a breather from social media.
Every few months I delete my social media apps from my phone. Eventually, I come back, but I severely limit my time there, and have found that hiding posts or friends that are overly negative has really made a difference.
At the end of the day, give yourself some grace. You’re allowed to be stressed, you’re allowed to be frustrated, you’re allowed to feel however you feel on any given day. You’re allowed to freaking adore your kids, but not love being a Mom 24/7. You’ve got this. Self care matters for moms. Keep on keeping on. Oh, and if you have any other suggestions on self care, leave them for me in the comments; I really don’t want my eye to twitch again. Happy Parenting!
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