According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, the definition of sorry is: “feeling sorrow or regret, used to express polite regret, or used to introduce bad news in a polite way.” I have found myself saying I’m Sorry, more frequently. I apologize to our babysitter, “I’m sorry, my house is in shambles.” To my husband, “I’m sorry I didn’t get everything done today.” To my boss, “I’m sorry, my kids are sick (again) and I can’t come into work today.” Someone bumps into me at Target, “I’m sorry.”
I didn’t think much of this, until my Five year old started apologizing for everything. “I’m sorry I fell Mama.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t eat well.” “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening.” “I’m sorry you don’t like the color green.” “I’m sorry I don’t want to play cars today.” “I’m sorry my clothes are getting too small.” The list goes on and on, and it has made me reflect on my own behavior.
By saying I’m sorry so much, it actually lessens the impact of an apology when I need to make one. It makes me feel guilty and weak. Why am I apologizing to other people for daily life? Saying I’m sorry because my house is a disaster is literally saying, “Hi, I’m sorry, we actually live here.” Keeping with my current theme, I should say; “Sorry, not sorry.” Instead of apologizing to my husband for not getting everything done, I should really say, “Hey, the kids are alive, fed, and happy. You’re welcome.” I don’t need to say I’m sorry to my boss when my kids are sick; it isn’t like I made them sick intentionally, and if I need a mental health day, I’m definitely not blaming it on my kids, they get blamed for enough. To the person at Target who backed into me with a hard glare while my one year old was losing his cool; “Hey, hope you have the day you deserve.”
I’ve been making more of an effort when I hear my son say he’s sorry, to talk with him about it. If he does something wrong, or hurts someone, an apology is definitely warranted. But, saying “I’m sorry I was crying,” is definitely not. You should never have to apologize for your feelings; your ACTIONS and REACTIONS are what define you. I hope he’s listening…
If you have any suggestions for a recovering apologetist, leave them in the comments. Keep on keeping on, and Happy Parenting.
