Remembering 9/11


Remembering September 11Remembering September 11, 2001, 18 years later. I was sitting in 7th grade math class when my teacher, Mrs. Ferree, turned on the television so we could all watch the news reports. I remember it like I remember all the bad things that ever happened to me. What’s this called? It probably has a name, but I will refer to it as nostalgia’s ugly step sister.

 I can still taste my breakfast. I can smell the class room. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest while I grip my desk. It was my first real feeling of overwhelming and gut wrenching anxiety. I wanted to cry. I wanted my mom. I wanted to believe it was all an accident and everything would be fine. 

I can not remember a time before the events of 9/11 where I had experienced anxiety like that. 

If you are my age, or close, you probably have very similar memories. Being 14 is complicated enough; you know so much, but your ability to separate emotion from ration is basically nonexistent. The events of 9/11 shook me to my core and I would never be the same. 
I remember feeling jealous of my younger cousins because they did not know, nor grasp, what was going on. Let that sink in. I literally wanted to be younger so I did not have to think about the events that unfolded in a deep way. The part of my brain that used to be filled with carefree thoughts and possibilities was changed. I was scarred. 
There was a special prayer meeting that night at church. This did not make me feel better at all. I remember thinking we were just going to pray for the people who tragically lost their lives but that was just a small portion of the meeting. It was actually more like an “end of world Q and A.” I would have rather been anywhere but in that room listening to those questions and answers. 
I heard my parents talking to other adults about all the other possibilities of future attacks and where “they” might strike next. I went to sleep every night for weeks with the lights on because I could not shake the feeling that my town would get attacked next. 
The memories are so vivid, even 2 decades later; so much sadness and uncertainty, I will always remember. I still feel sad and uncertain, but today I am choosing to change the narrative to add hope. Hope for a better future and hope that my children can live in a more gentle world. 
| For a great video to help explain 9/11 to your kids – check out this Sesame Street video |
Previous articleNational Lazy Mom’s Day
Next articlePrenatal Yoga with a Toddler: Om… No Thanks
Ashley is a Santa Rosa Beach transplant from the Midwest (Bloomington, IN to be exact). She along with her side kick (husband), Jake and two dogs moved to the area over five years ago to start a business and play by the beautiful gulf. Since moving to the Emerald Coast in 2014 The Burch’s have been blessed with two littles, Huckleberry (age 4), and Edith Lucille “Edie Lu” (age 2). Ashley is a stay at home mama and a top notch homemaker. She loves to decorate, redecorate, and fill her virtual carts with area rugs she will probably never buy. She is a fantastic cook and creative baker, she is always tweaking recipes and trying new things in kitchen! She also helps her husband with their family pressure washing business. Ashley doesn’t believe in perfection and sprinkles a little humor wherever she goes. For more stories and amusement follow along with her day to day on instagram: @ashleyburch.